I know as a writer I have those times when I wonder if I have what it takes to be successful. I think it’s something that all writers go through during various stages of time, even published ones.
Anyway, I got a confirmation this weekend that I’m really not as awful as I once thought.
Friday night (actually Saturday, since it was way after midnight) I was checking my spam filter here on my blog. Occassionally a good comment gets routed there for some reason and I decided to double check before I deleted the spam.
And that’s when I saw it. A comment from a literary agent, who was very interested in the novel summaries I posted.
I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw that. Of course, I went and double checked a few sources to make sure the comment was in fact legit. She most certainly was and she works for the very agency that represents Amy Tan and Lisa See–two of my favorite authors. I ended up emailing the agent, thanking her for contacting me and letting her know that the moment my novel is polished I will send it off.
This essentially was a sign for me to stop finding excuses and it was about as blatant as if a billboard was dropped from heaven in my front yard. I’ve long since wondered if my stories had any appeal and to get an actual request from an agent about them…let’s just say that doubt has pretty much evaporated.
So I guess my point is to never sell yourself short, especially if you’re a writer. You just have to keep going, keep writing and not give up. All the more reason for me to succeed in my goals for Fast Draft.
One more thing: I have to say how incredibly amazing it is that one of my other writer friends, Mariah, had a similar bout of encouragement recently. Go and read her entry about why she’s a writer too.
A writer friend of mine and another member of our critique group brought this up to me in a message. She said I’m one of those types that views writing as my calling. I think that’s pretty accurate, although sometimes I really wonder about it…
I know I posted about this not that long ago, but it’s still on my mind. How does one know for certain what their calling in life is? Whether it’s writing, or being a doctor, or teacher or whatever else, how do you know? I don’t know that there’s a clear answer; I think it’s one of those universal questions humanity always is trying to find the answer for.
For me, as a Christian, I know that everyone’s created for a purpose. That purpose is ultimately to serve God, although much of humanity doesn’t believe that. Without getting into a huge philosophical debate, I personally believe the reason why so many people flounder around in life is because they are trying to find something to fill that “God-shaped hole”. Even though I know this, I often try stray from the path. Anyway, please don’t take offense to that at all–it’s just my personal beliefs. But I digress.
I think it’s my feeble human nature that makes me doubt my ability sometimes. I’m forever comparing myself to others, which I know I shouldn’t do, but I still fall into that trap. I see other writers in the blogosphere whose writing far surpasses mine and I wonder if I’ll ever be good enough. I know, I know, it didn’t come easy to them, they worked hard to get there, etc. But sometimes I wonder…what if my best isn’t good enough? What if I’m never meant to be published?
Anyway, I know I shouldn’t think that, but it comes through sometimes. I know I should just focus on the writing and everything should fall into place. I need to push the doubt back. I need to overcome my weaknesses as a person and try and focus on the bigger picture. But my silly human nature takes over way too often.
And I end this post with a little song. Dedicating it to my family and friends who are going through tough times.