Critique went well last night. It didn’t take them long to critique my chapter; it only took from the time of ordering food and receiving it. So, I’m guessing that was maybe 10-15 minutes 🙂
They picked up on what I had thought; grammatical issues and even issues with too much description (which is odd because normally I’m critiqued for not enough :P) To be fair though, only one person said that, the other two said the description was fine because it was still her first day there (in her new home) and it helped to set the scene. One even said I needed just a bit more on describing the kabazaiku trade (art of fashioning things like tea cannisters and other small woodworks out of cherry bark).
Only one member said that it seemed we were seeing too much of Kaiyo and her guardian, Ryuji, verbally sparring. That may be true, though this was pretty much the last chapter of that as in the next three she avoids him (as a result of this recent argument) and attempts to leave. After that, she begins to change as she realizes the danger that she’s in. From this point she and Ryuji (also the love interest, as if one couldn’t tell :P) begin to see different aspects of one another’s personality. The love story is only a small part of this; I’m still not sure how it’s going to end with them, whether the story has them together or left open ended.
I now need to work on the next chapter, which is one with the antagonist. I’ve been told I need to make him more evil, which I’m trying to do, but it’s hard to show that as he’s in the process of searching for her and needs to put on his “best face” in order to gain the information needed. However, he is going to become quite cruel as he gets closer to the people who know Kaiyo.
Anyway, the ending I was planning is changing slightly again, this time because I’m deciding to cut out one POV. I initially had three: my MC Kaiyo, her father and the antagonist, Kaemon. However, Kaiyo’s father’s identity remains a mystery to her through much of the book (at least until part II) and I thought that by introducing him to the reader would negate the mysterious aspect and take away some of the suspense of who he actually is. It could change, but I’m thinking I will only have Kaiyo’s POV and Kaemon’s, the latter increasing as he gets closer to finding her and closer to Part II.
Gotta love how this novel is ALWAYS changing, from day to day, sometimes even hour to hour. 😛
It’s too bad I probably won’t have any time to work on it this weekend; friends from West Virginia are coming up for the weekend. I’m happy though because it’s been since Christmas since we’ve seen them and I’m looking forward to having a girls’ weekend while hubby has his “guy time” with my friend’s husband as they go up to our college alma mater in Mount Vernon. I think I’m going to see Slumdog Millionaire this weekend; I’ve heard good things about it and I love cultural movies.
Ok that’s it. Have a great weekend everyone!