My journey through the world of writing and everything that lies in between…

Excerpt Monday for July

I can’t believe how fast time goes! It’s already time for another Excerpt Monday!

For all Excerpt Monday links, go HERE. **Do be aware of the ratings next to each of them as some are rated R or higher.**

Here is another blurb from Lady of the Snow, immediately following the last one. It’s shorter and rougher, but it’s the general direction I’d like to go in with the beginning:

Excerpt:

Those eyes of his…why am I so moved by them?

I am unable to control the words that come out next—words that come from some hidden part of me that I’d long forgotten.

“I intended to treat you like the other man,” I said, my voice as slight as the winter winds. “But I cannot help feeling some pity for you…”

A shadow of hope crossed his features. He opens his mouth to speak, but his words are frozen in his throat, my spell still taking hold of him.

“You’ve been spared this night. However, no one lives to tell of an encounter with me. If you ever utter a word of this night to anyone, even your own mother, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

My words must resonate with him. He bows low, his forehead to the ground in a gesture of gratitude for me sparing his life.  Though he does not speak I can hear the words: Thank you, merciful lady.

I do not respond. The slight tingling in my chest spreads, distracting me.  I let the blizzard winds carry me out of the hut without another word to the young man suddenly desperate to make as much distance between us as much as possible. It troubles me that I’ve been thought as merciful. I am never merciful.

The events of the past few moments bother me. Something was wrong.  In all the years I’ve roamed these mountains, not one person who encounters me escapes. And those eyes of his…I still cannot get them out of my mind. “It’s as if he saw me as human,” I say out loud.

As soon as my words come out, the strange tingling intensifies to something I could only assume would be akin to what fire would feel like if it consumed my body. I scream in shock. I don’t know what this is; I’ve never felt pain before. I clutch my chest as the burning spreads.  Whatever this sensation is, it’s making my body heavy too. The winds can no longer carry me and I’m suddenly on the ground.

What’s happening to me?

***

Please check out some of the other participants in Excerpt Monday, too!

And don’t forget to head to Excerpt Monday’s site to read the whole list as well.

Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) (Also my little sister! :))

Jeannie Lin, Historical Romance (PG-13)

Bria Quinlan, Rom Com (PG)

Kaige, Historical Romance (PG-13)

Leigh Royals, Historical Romance (PG-13)

Christina DeLorenzo, YA (PG-13)

Kinsey W. Holley, Paranormal (PG)

 

Advertisements

Comments on: "Excerpt Monday for July" (24)

  1. […] W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Sorensen, Paranormal […]

  2. […] 13) Bria Quinlan, Rom Com (PG) Kinsey W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Sorensen, Paranormal (PG) Christina DeLorenzo, YA (PG 13) Nika Dixon, Romantic Suspense (PG 13) Bryn […]

  3. […] W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Soren, Paranormal […]

  4. […] W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Sorensen, Paranormal […]

  5. […] Dara Soren, Paranormal (PG) […]

  6. You’ve a very lyrical prose style. Even rough, it’s got a nice flow.

    Mine is here:

    http://scorchedsheets.com/2009/07/excerpt-monday-2/

    Happy EM!

    Elise

  7. Intriguing! Very compelling narrator.

  8. […] Dara Sorensen, Paranormal (PG)   Bryn Donovan, Paranormal Romance(PG13) Julia Knight, Fantasy Romance (PG 13) […]

  9. I LOVE THIS! I love how the supernatural mindset of the protagonist, how she’s all-powerful, but not all-knowing. There’s definitely a human story to be found in this myth and I think you’re discovering it.

    And your little sis writes too? I’m a big fan of having a little sis to help out.

  10. […] them this week: Kinsey W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Soren, Paranormal (PG) Babette James, Fantasy Romance (PG13) Christina DeLorenzo, YA (PG 13) Nika Dixon, […]

  11. […] Dara Sorensen, Paranormal (PG) Babette James, Fantasy Romance (PG13) Julia Knight, Fantasy Romance (PG 13) Bryn Donovan, Paranormal Romance (PG13) Jeannie Lin, Historical Romance (PG13) […]

  12. Very nice, Dara. This follows nicely from last time. The POV character is very compelling and intriguing.

  13. […] W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Sorensen, Paranormal […]

  14. I want to read more 🙂 Very intriguing character and I look forward to seeing where you take the conflict.

  15. […] W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Sorensen, Paranormal […]

  16. Caitlynn said:

    Good! I think she’s starting to develop a little more naturally now. Her shock comes across well, especially with phrases like, “my voice as slight as the winter winds.” And I also like the description of the tingling in her chest, and how it spreads. I think I have a pretty good idea of where it’s going next…so keep writing! I want to know if I’m right. 😛

  17. […] Dara Sorensen: Paranormal (PG) 4 Comments for this entry […]

  18. Great excerpt, Dara! 😀

  19. Oh my, I want to know what’s happening. Great continuation from last month’s excerpt!

  20. […] Com (PG) Joining us this week: Kinsey W. Holley, Paranormal (PG) Caitlynn Lowe, Epic Fantasy (PG) Dara Soren, Paranormal (PG) Babette James, Fantasy Romance (PG13) Christina DeLorenzo, YA (PG 13) Nika Dixon, […]

  21. Very cool. You’ve definitely set up an intriguing premise with him seeing her as human!

  22. Can’t wait to read what happens next.

  23. Wow. Sounds great. Even in the few words, I got a good sense of character and the paranormal element. I’d definitely want to read more. How long are the excerpts typically?

    • It’s up to the writer; I’ve seen longer excerpts that could be almost chapter length. I’d say between 500-1000, although the 1000 is on the higher end.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Tag Cloud

%d bloggers like this: